ok guys im back.
n im posting a song's lyrics.one of the fav songs.line in the sand-bleeding through.no significance.just that ive just started to relisten to the song.and playing it on repeat again n againagainagain ok u geddit.so here it is.

The line is being drawn through my heart
And we're conceiving fires through our thoughts
You're just like me
You're just like me

This is everything I wanted to tell you
I'm still in love with everything about you
I feel the wreckage from everything you do
And I'm tired of still waiting

If I told you the truth now
Would you still leave and take my heart?
But I still feel ugly and you're ugly just like me
when I show you the truth will you still leave?
Will you ever change? But I still feel empty
Will I always lose this game

this is everything I wanted to show you
I'm no longer scared of anything about you
I lived through the damage from the heart you took from me
And I'm tired of still wanting

ok done.i hope dzul enjoys out there.take care asshole:)

ahmad

Motherfuck.
Someone misplaced my beloved cable, (to transfer shit into Comp)
yes and now I can't find it.
Training later manxz.
I have the tendency of being punctual. (NOT)
Mhmmmm.

I've been through the first week of the holidays.
It doesn't seem to be what I thought it would be.
All my friends entah gi mane.
Yes, I mean all.
Cept for some though.
School peeps, bros.
Mannnn, is this what the holidays is gonna be like?
I'm not gonna sit my ass at home and not gonna do anything about it.
Imma try my luck next week.
& I've been longing to have a getaway with you, hunnnn.
D:
Tell me when's the right time, aye?

Hasif.

nahh dont think i am.i just came home from a 3-day trip so i dont know what happened here. tell me "boys" then at last oso dont wna tell.nahh its not minor.ala nvm ah.its trivial.

aku ngantok ah.aku harap besok turns out well.well, aku heading to tamp mart aniway.so cant be THAT bad.

ouhh n sorry about the ferst part of this post.


da.aku da tk tau apa nk bbual.slmt ah korng.

ahmad

sorry man.i found this quiz.so i decided to post AGAIN.
hahaha.to think i wanted to go out.eh i still want to.


Put your music player on shuffle.
2. Press forward for each question.
3. Use the song title as the answer to the question even if it doesnt make sense.No cheating!
4. Name 5 people to ask them to do this!
5. Based on the question and the song, give your own comments on how it relates to the questions.

How are you feeling today?
let it be- the beatles
dang guess today is the careless mood.

Will you get far in life?
sloth loves chunk-the acacia strain
huh?me sloth.who chunk?whats chunk anw?

How do your friends see you?
aesthetic-between the buried and me
yeaa im d arts.beauty.heh perasan.

Will you get married?
2014-god dethroned
dang maybe im gettin married in that year.2014?thats when im 21.hmmms.not bad ah.hahahah.

What is your best friend's theme song?
brain removal police-cannibal corpse
hahahahhaha.ouh yea none of us like the police.so yay.eh wait.ok nevermind.

What is the story of your life?
my apocalypse-arch enemy.
woooooo fierce.my life is THE END.muahahaha
and the song's fucking cool.imagine that song while my most craziest moments in life are played.muahahaha.

What was primary school like?
the bleeding-five finger death punch
wth?pri sch was chicken.no bleeding happened there.
ouh no i fell alot in lower primary.maybe its trying to tell me that.

How can you get ahead in life?
smoke machine kuda kepang remix.
hahahahhaha.fcuk.my god so unexpected.guess ill go ahead riding a kude that does kude kepang while smoking like a smoke machine.lols jokin

What is the best thing about your friends?
bet it all on black-i killed the prom queen
hmms i dont know whats that supposed to mean?
but hhmmms cool jgak. maybe we all like black?eh no?i dnt know ah.

What is in store for this weekend?
goodnight goodnight-hothotheat
lols from the lyrics, it aint good.at all.hahaha.
nahh.hope not.

What song describes you?
requiem-paradise lost
eh wait.fuck what does that mean?


To describe your grandparents?
a vulgar picture-black dahlia murder
dont mean to be disrespectful.but geee.that was random.

How is your life going?
panic song-green day
LOLS that was before.now i think its kinda stable.but yeaa maybe because im just came home.so yeaa lil hsaky like pANIC

What song will they play at your funeral?
ambassador of pain-kataklysm
cool pe....!!! wooots!!!!

How does the world see you?
Chr*stgrinding avenue-behemoth
NO MAN.why do you all see me that way?im a very peaceful unradical person.

Will you have a happy life?
scars-papa roach
oh my.this makes me sad.lols.no i dont want a life tearing myself open and sewing myself shut.

What do your friends really think of you?
Im the man-anthrax
OUHH YEAA MANN.
i KNOW you all DO.

Do people secretly lust after you?
My animosity-short term memory
wooo.maybe have.cheyy mcm phm.muahahahah.animosity mahh.so i dont know.

What should you do with your life?
Mr Brightside-the killers
yaay.happy one.maybe i should look on the brightside.:)

Will you ever have children?
pretty soon, i dont know what-norma jean
fcuk not soon man.hahaha and i dont know what caused that.LOLS.

ahmad

yeaa.nvm ill ignore that,

hey bitches and barstards and also not to forget mothafcukenarseholes.
how are you all doing?
wait i need to get milk.you know after a choc bar, how i need milk.XD

k done.

so how are you all doing?
msia was fine...not really.maybe alil below fine.
to me all that was nice was the two nights.
a friend brought a ps2.so we didnt sleep much.i slept two hours for both nights.
first night,
well after check in, i just chilled.like went down twice since ive got my perrilys(but red)hahahahah. and so i bought red bull and just chilled downstairs with 10 perrilys(since i gta finish em in two nights) and redbull.ooo heaven.

ouhh and btw, perrilys blend is nice yaw.

and second night.when i came down, i realised that there was nothing.no shops nothing. then the rest came down.like maybe all of us were, 10 people? so yeaa after i told em that there was no shop here afetr asking the hotel personel, we were about to give up when saiful suggested we walked the other way around the hotel and just see ah.and TADADA. there happened to be a warung there. i bought two fucking beefspecial ramly burgers. after i found out one was not enough. and icedcoffee.n i nearly finsihed my perrilys there and then.ouh and btw , that place was fucken great.no one there. just a gathering, prolly the lepak place for people with mod cars. and there was this one car(couldnt see what in the dark) with built in stereo system blasted music.i thought there was a fucking concert going on.so yeaa. imagine that.great as hell.no worries, no police, good music, good food, buds.woots.hell it was nice.the i headed up to play ps2 again.den got down with alif, my junior, n just slacked ah n finished my perrilys.den got back up and watched eng vs usa.fcuk the second goal was great.

the next day was fucked.we were supposed to go to chowkit area to shop. i wouldnt mind petaling either(but i dont tink it was open) but teachers made us go to masjid india. watthemothofuckienghell was that for?what the fucking bitch were we boys supposed to get at masjid india?ouhh and btw the most basic fact u shud know about that place is that evry shop sells textiles.so imagine.we tried the malls.and those were extremist feminist malls.every shop only sold female clothes.chi-bai. yeaa u got that right.so yeaa id int buy anth. fucken hell.
when getting home, i slept, watched some movies on a fren's psp.n...ate.muahaha.
well yeaa i guess thats all.

today, i wna go out.lepak perhaps.not hearing from dzul and hasif's out with anisa.i dont know.i think im getting tamp mart shiet. gdbye arseholes

ahmad

HELLO.
ANYONE OUT THERE ARE IN DIRE NEED OF ENTERTAINMENT?
Read on.
SECOND POST IN, ummm, A FEW MINUTES AGO!
Anyway, posting for music updates.
And if you want them, I have it.

New Releases :
Shai Hulud - Misanthropy Pure
Alesana - Where Myth Fades To(!) (lookie at the blog titleeee)
Endwell - Revenge Is A Healthy Motive
After the Burial - Rareform(!)

Worth a listen :
Arsis(!)
Every Bridge Burned(!)
The Cab(!)
Veil of Maya(!)
Asteria
Kill Hannah
Envy on the Coast
Cheyenne

(!) - TRY, and you'll love it.
For all bands, search on www.myspace.com
Mind you, this is due to complete B.O.R.E.D.O.M.
Hey, at least I got you some fine ass music.
Cheers :D


Hasif.
(Oops, bytheway most are Metal. Heh)

EH, anyone out there owns an Xbox 360?
Do you have Fifa 08? NFS: Prostreet?
Any new titles?
IF YOU DO, CONTACT MEEEE.
I wanna borrow.
:B

Whut's up?
Hmmmm.
Nothing much lately.
I've been wanting to do holiday homework since the start of hols. (strange but true)
But heck, guess whut?
I procrastinated again.
As usual.
@(#*&$)@(*&#$!$
I know, my usual self.
As I'm trying to change, (READ: trying)
it's really difficult for me to get rid of old habits.
And I mean old habits.
Lots of em.

ANYWHO,
today was great.
Courtesy of Anisa.
Thanks hunnaye.
One thing's for sure, WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU TWO?!
It's Thursday, and you guys ain't home?
Or just plain worn out?
Come on, I WANNA SEE YOU TWO BUGGERS TOMORROW, (and I mean it)
yeah.
Why? Because starting next week onwards,
the only days I'm free are:
Thursday Friday Saturday Sunday.

I know, fucked up right?
Mhmmm.
And here I am, lazing around.
Making music(OHRIGHT), reminiscing our favourite pastimes.
Well, as I grow older, time really pass by damn fast.
Sure, and we miss those times we spend happily together.
No more lepak, no more bike, no more beach.
Is this gonna carry on?
I hope not.

Hasif.

I'm living this mundane life.
Trust me, it really is.
Sometimes I wonder why parents these days don't fucking understand their own children.
Literally.

If I were to complain all this shit to some adult,
he/she would say:
Appreciate of what you have. Look at those unfortunate ones.
They'd be glad enough if they were living your life.

Ah, a typical line.
Mostly said by parents, too.
Or teachers. (might be parents too)
So, how are you gonna argue with that?
They're saying that, you should value what God has given you, for now.

Well, I don't see any meaning to it.
Aw, fuck it.

Hello.
I've been deprived of using the computer.
For four fucking days.
Thanks to that mothafuckin' asshole.
Actually, I've been deprived of a whole lot of shit;
Gym.
Friends.
Town.
Anisa.
Music.
Food.
and there's more to that.
One of em's family time.

I think there's no more of that.
Not anymore.
Sundays, are gone.
Burnt by NCC.
Or, that asshole would rather stick his sorry ass at home, lazing around.
Whorebitchmofo.

I don't see where this's going.
Do I even have a proper family?
Fuckin' hell.

Hasif.

ok im done
tomorrow im going to malaysia guys.
sorry dzul couldnt come down today.
ill get back to you when i get home.
and hasif take care of both yourself n ure i-wna-go-home-to-tok-to her gerl.
pentingkan nonok lupekan member.
hahaha joke boiii.
n han too yea.u tc and have funfunfun back home.love you!
lols and dengs atiqah.lols tc.ouh hav fun.n bettterrr do hwk.muahahaha.dol sia u.apa lagi ehh.ouhh n agn, dnt worry ah tu budak. kalo mcm2, i cme hme bwk mat rempit msia.hahahahaha.tron sebat.cheyy mcm phm.ouhh n jgn try yg dalam kotak tu!muahahaha
tkd laa.

so tmr...i tink its gna be fun...but hectic especially with a guy in a cast.perrilysperrilysperrilys
wait for me man.
hahahaha.thats all i think.
cheers all.cya soon!

ahmad

heyya there guys.
man...let's start from friday.
had school.i ponned two lessons which = to half a dae.muahaha.barstard.
but thank God i did.after school, i had two retests.philosophy and karangan.but before both, i went to s11 with pathy(schoolmate) to ndwfigfekcnwe.no not fuck dumbasses.im straight.

then i went tamp mart with khairi.then he went home while i met atiqah and fahmi and headed to tamp mart again coz they wanted to get theirs. then i headed down to pasiris when fahmi and atiqah went to diff places.one boon lay one bedok. i met zafri.lepak. then met siddiq. lepak.then hasif came down. lepaked till about 10.30 and i went off and headed to boon lay.my cuzzin was gonna have a wedding the next day. when i reached there, most of my cuzzins already went home.so i was left all alone.with my sister and another older cuzzin. blablabla eat and all then i headed to my cuzzin's house. nothing much there too.but my sleeping monster took over and i slept so unconsciously that...idk.i slept like a log ah.halfwae, i woke up, felt hot and i took off my tee, totally forgetting that my cuzzins are femalesXD.but heyy they werent sleeping in that room.and it was hot as fcuk. so yea next morning i woke up having to cover myself with my tee.hahahaha.

and it was saturday.and the ceremonial day. not long after i bathed and took a light breakfast, my older cuzzin came. ouh and did i mentioned he was also paika together with his brother.hahaha.we slacked in the unused room talking shiet, both revealing the actual reasons behind our paikas(u really thot i got this while playing soccer?u wish.lols.n him?woow bukannye taxi nye pasalXD)then after my cuzzin nikah, we went downstairs.and the fun began.the whole day,all three of us didnt work.we sat like pakcik2.ate ate ate(and i feel guilty for eating alot.faaaaaats) and well we took 'breaks'.hahaha even my other cuzzins.and their cuzzins too.and their friends also.woots.and its fun coz .im no longer their young small 'anak keladi' cuzzin.haahha.cheers to them for lepaking

and just now...went tampmart.took my cuz's oreder too and went lepak.skali his OC wna visit him.so wtf went home.hahha nth much.haaa fcuk i wonder how my hols wud be like.fuck the cast.i tried kicking with full shot.its still fucking painful.cb how to go ang mo kio like this sia?nvm.ill do it sooner or later.tu budak aku tk lepaskan.

ahmad

I think it's pretty amazing how I could tahan for the past few days.
I've been to and fro from one place to another again and again.
Let's see,

Thursday:
School - Amoy Quee - School - Back.

Friday:
School - Home - School - Back.

Today:
School - Kallang - Home - Kallang - Back.

Tomorrow:
Changi - Home - ???

That's not all.
My amplifier's still at school.
I still have a few more trainings left.
And this week's gonna be, well, hectic(?)
Maybe, maybe not.
Seems like I really have lots of free time on my hand after the exams.
Who doesn't?

My life for these past few days is mostly situated outside home,
cos I rarely spend time at home during holidays.
I can predict what's to come for me already.

Things I wanna do:

• Restart my gym routine.
• Study. (seriously)
• Part-time job. (maybe)
• Spend time with Anisaaaaa. (hopefully)
• Spend time with peeps.
• Jamming.
• A new wardrobe.

Hmmm.
I dream alot.
I doubt I'll be able to fulfill these tasks.


Hasif.

I've been trying to post since, godknowswhen,
but the thing is.
My computer is not detecting my phone on the cable,
hence,
I can't upload pics.
Godddunnit. (no, actually no one)

OKAY. FINALLY.
Just pictures, no time to type out shit.
I'll do that tonight.
:D



The past few days were really great.
Especially Monday, and so on.
I've lots to say but heck, Imma meet you soon.
Heh.
(This's because that, the hols are coming, and obviously, we'll
be seeing each other less D: )

Okay bebxz.
That's for now, I'll post more shitxz later.
Toodles

Hasif.

fucklo people.

gee why do you have to be mad?i dont geddit.

nvm.gee.once i get in msia.im gna get a whole lot of perrilys.perriliysperrilysperrilys. and im gna *bleep* my spore life awae. its been awhile since i got overseas to chill my brain out.if only i had a bike, id head down evry weekend wit my cuz.gee.

and fuck this plastercast.its like on my whole fucken leg.from toes all the way up below my knee.longer than soccer socks.cb,
im gonna get it open in two weeks i dont give a fucken damn

ahmad

Yeah.
You guys read it right.
Gig for the bazaar's coming in a day's time.
Man, I'm either not anxious or I'll be getting stagefright.
Must tell myself to let loose.

"Relax, it's a charity thing, relax :D"

Okay.
I guess that'll help me.
Hmmm, I just found out that Metallica just finished recording their latest album.
No idea what's the title.
Hope it sounds nice.
And I'm in need of a new ax.
Literally.
GET ME ONE, BITCHES.
:D

Hasif.

Only a mad caveman would sound like that.
I'm an exception, since I had a great day today.
:D

ANYWAY, Happy W(v)esak Day to all buddhists.

Morning didn't turn out that well,
dad was at home.
Decided to go Downtown,
but stayed at tamp cos, um,
both of us were late?
Hmmm.
Met hunnaye after that. Kinda late, no wait.
Very. (not really though.)
Watched "What Happens In Vegas".
very corny, laughable, and yes, do watch it.
And met Han, Hairi after their session at Simpang.
For a moment onlyyy,
if not I could've saved some goals.
Sigh.
Anyway, overall
I loved today.
That's why there's nothing much to say.
:D

Hasif.

heyy people.
im back.
actually ive got nothing much to write about.
just apologies and thanks.and some other stuff.
to the other people,
sorry man if these few days ive been pissing you off.
and also thanks to the people who helped me out on friday morning.
and after that too.

ok.so on to the usual posting.
alright.ive been into this song.that really makes me go like woooooo
and its behind blue eyes- the who
yes maybe you've heard it or the cover by limpbizkit which i think sucks but cant balme them for trying out a hard emotional power legendary song heh.

so yeaa i suddenly thought of the songs that i like and i never get bored listenin even if i switch it on repeat.(not according to which is nicer)
1)another hero lost-shadowsfall
2)line in the sand-bleeding through
3)behind blue eyes-the who
4)miserable at best-mayday parade

i think thats all.unless i realise there's more.haha

gee.i dont know.is it really over?

ahmad

third post.maybe not its monday already.holiday.first post.
im happy yaaaayyyyyyy
i think everythings done.i think.
she forgave me.ouh fcuk shuddup u ppl.
coz what u rant about, i cant hear aniway.
but anw, yeaa...i thot the best id come out as is some dumbfcuk who'd be as fcuked up as ever.
but nahh.she forgave me.man
thanks yea:)i appreaciate it muchs.
yeaa...woo.woo! la siaaa. tmr would be a real holiday.just looking forward to something else.

so aniway i cracked my ankle.or maybe ligament tear.nothing much.doc said ligament tear but today tehyc alled saying maybe its a crack.hope not. diam uh sif

n sif, sorry tadi.aku tga mcm fcuked ah.ko sala timing.tpi tkp ah bagos ko tkya sua.n apa beza tingkap aku ngn tingkap adik aku?sumpah ko rabak.

yea well....tomorrow's anthr day.im actually sleepy as hell.sandman placed his sand oredy but not strong enuff so he put stronger dose.nytes ppl.

thanks dear.2 years and counting eh?hahahaa.

ahmad

ok sorry gaknye aku kasar bebual.tapi serriously.ko tau cerita sebenar.kenapa?aku betol tak paham. mungkin aku tak tau ko peh maksod atau niat ko.tapi kenapa ko tak bilang jek cerita betol?

ok ignore that.
actually this post is for her only.coz...i just cant find a way to apologise. sometimes i even think its no use, because it doesnt change a thing. but i really have to. if i could give away something that could be of exchange, i would, but these things arent like gold or anything.its much more valuable than that. sometimes i just cant figure out how when you would do anything to protect someone you love and she would never even be the last person you would want to hurt and when you see her hurt, you feel hurt too.i just cant figure out how, in the end, you end up being the one whove hurt her. its stupid.and it hurts. i dont know why.but.you dont want her hurt but YOU hurt her??

im sorry..it does hurt to see you hurt.and please dont cry...that's the last thing i want to see you doing. you could smash me, or do anything to me. but dont cry. when you do, i feel i just cant be there for you.i cant hold you and tell you that its ok and that i love you. and yea it does hurt to see you cry. to be honest, sometimes i feel like the best way its that i should leave.and stop hurting you. because i feel that my presence itself can sometimes be hurtful. but when i think again, I'm afraid that if i leave, you wouldnt be okay. and then, i wouldnt be there anymore. I'm not saying that Ive been the one comforting you. I know that I'm not comforting enough.in fact maybe its the other way around. im really sorry. i really dont know how to apologise or do something for what ive done. if you have to, do what's right and what it takes. im willing to accept it. and yeaa, when you make decisions, please try not to think too much about how i would be. because, it was my mistake and every sinner must face the consequences of his actions. its just somehting i must do, whether it would hurt or id be the same, its just something i must face. again, i apologise. and i thank you once again for giving me so many chances because i know that forgiving means sacrifice. and also for making my life a wonderful one.

ahmad

pukimak.aku tak paham.
i dont fucking understand.
why?of all people, you??what the fuck have i done that's so wrong that you had to do what you did?
its fucking stupid.and yet....omfg.i really dont fucking understand. i didnt expect. kawan da brape lama? aku pernah ke buat ko rabak2?ah fuck man.

bros, tolong aku eh?aku tk tahu apa aku buat salah exactly. apa ni?lepas satu, satu.cb.fuck sia hidop.

ahmad

Chapter 1

I watched the Sajak finals earlier today.
it was cool
Lots of fine ladayes
HAAA
Well congrats to prize winners yah

then after that went home to do up the cupboard
Roboh rumah pak belalang katakan
Having done that proceeded out
Went to meet An
We watched 'Made of Honour'
Good show
but not one to watch with another guy...
Geez
Then after that went home
Then here I am


Chapter 2

Have you ever liked someone who has no interest in you
AT all
Instead they like someone else
Geez
im in that situation
Gah
Sucky sia
Seriously
Like you just keep liking that person
And most prolly might end up with no results
nil
none
tidak ada
mei you
Sigh.....
i still like her though
nevermind la

Dzulridhwan bin Kamaludin

Oke.
I'm like super high today.
Cos of training? Nah.
Cos of jamming? Yeah.
Cos of something I've achieved? HELL YEAH.
Yes. I've managed NOT TO ____ for almost a week already.
That's a hell of an achievement I tell you.
Ain't easy for someone like me.
This's gonna carry on, trust me.

Those are some random pics throughout this week of mine.
Hmmm, not bad aye, my phone is liked by all.

Hasif.

Literally, since I wasn't present in school.
Yep.
Oh and Anisa's asleep already when she's supposed to call me.
Great.
Ain't her fault anyway, training eats up alot of energy yo.

Fuckin wasted my morning sleeping and hogging the 360. (COD 4, mind you)
Yes, FPS games are really that addictive.
Especially when you're on a killing streak, you can't stop. (that's me)
But again, some people despise FPS, Idk why. (like Ahmad)
It's like (I shall use this word;) aeons since I've gone to the gym.
And I just did today.
Well, I need to re-adapt to the feeling again.
Yes, and once that is all settled, no more NCC for me.
Fuh.
But then again, there's training tomorrow (*&$%^@*&$%@)
I'll go grab something from kitchy and go sleepy.

Hasif.

I don't sound like I'm commited to NCC, do I?
Cos I really am not.
Those seniors of mine do not understand me.
I simply can't be bothered with NCC any longer.
Yeah, one of you might be reading this now.
Go ahead, tell everyone that I said this.
Why? Simple.
The reason's that, there's no point in being enthu
about it any longer.
Look, I'm a Part C.
I'm left with one more year in NCC.
What can I do?
It's my mistakes that led myself to this.
No one would want me as a PS or whatever.
There are reasons why, and I shan't elaborate on it.

Anyway, today was so, so, so, so, sleepy.
I was on the verge of drooling during every lesson.
Well, except for MT though.
I don't know why but I've been feeling really lethargic for
these past few days.
Care explaining why?
I wake up to a burning sensation when I open my eyes.
My body aching all over.
And there's no energy left in me to lift myself and be ready for the day.
No.
Nothing.
Mei you.
Tak ada.
Nei.

Okay, my grogginess is coming, again.
Might doze off anytime soon.

Hasif.

It's "boo", not "boob".
Do not think otherwise, man.
I like my pictures, raw, full of colour, contrasting, and border-less.
Okay, I can't actually believe that I slept in the toilet just now.
God, am I really that tired?
Maybe it's because of today's training.
Or maybe yesterday?
I've no idea either.
I made myself tuna sandwiches.
And my tummy's gone mad.

Grades, hmm. Sigh, hopefully I'll pass my overall percentage, aye?
I'm really determined to change this time.
Like, for the better.
It's no use sticking to my old ways and hoping to score high marks.
I really wanna improve this time round, and prove the others.
Peeps, too.

Meh, nothing much for now.
I love you, baybehhh.

Bazaar's in a week's time.
Woohoo.

Hasif.

when i switch on the comp, she switches it off when i switch on the comp she switches it off.( and my comp takes an hour to load mind you)

fuck.so much for saving electricity.and she never wants to listen to what i say.
i switch on the comp , it took too long to load, i went out cause i had to take sis from tuition.i came home and i found it switched off. victim?MUM OF COURSE.what is her problem?save electricity.what about the evrynight when she either watches teevee for hours or stays on the phone for hours. and the computer, which i doubt uses more electricity then the teevee or the phone+fan+light combi. bloody irritatin.its not like its the first time somemore. said aredy but she keeps doing it. no need use lights ah.save what. if not for that unthoughtful action, i would have already done the posting and would be sleeping right now.

tomorrow going to have 7s again.geez.its tiring.

actually something real big happened to me on monday.
im not going into any of the details or what happened, because its history.and its just not right.
but the outcome was that she stayed. and im real thankful. i love you yea?and i know how it feels.its not something you can just forget until you sacrifice your feelings and worries. but please do not worry anymore. you are the only one i do love.

its true. i cant say anything much. she's just the most wonderful person ive ever met. thanks so much for being by me for two whole years. haha i know im an idiot at times, but yea...i love you.


Y / Yellowcard lyrics / Only One

Only One by Yellowcard album: Ocean Avenue (2003)

Broken This fragile thing now And I can't I can't pick up the pieces And I've thrown my words all around But I can't I can't give you a reason I feel so broken up (So broken up) And I give up (I give up) I just want to tell you so you know Here I go Scream my lungs out and try to get to you You are my only one I let go, there's just no one that gets me like you do You are my only My only one Made my mistakes Let you down And I can't I can't hold on for too long Ran my whole life in the ground And I can't I can't get up when you're gone And something's breaking up (Breaking up) I feel like giving up (Like giving up) I won't walk out until you know Here I go Scream my lungs out and try to get to you You are my only one I let go, there's just no one that gets me like you do You are my only My only one Here I go so dishonestly Leave a note, for you my only one And I know you can see right through me So let me go and you will find someone Here I go Scream my lungs out and try to get to you You are my only one I let go, there's just no one, no one like you You are my only My only one My only one My only one My only one You are my only My only one and here's alil something.nothing really.sorry cant write songs.heh*scratches head* goodnights all. ahmad

Answer that question for me.
I'm still wondering.
I may sound like a typical female, but I'm just wondering if
I get frustrated/angry even at the slightest of things.
When I mean things, I mean personal stuff.
Yeah.
But one thing's for sure is that, things are gonna be the same like last time.
Sigh.
Just so when we have a phone, we can communicate easily.
With anyone.
Anywhere.
Anytime.
The only mean of communicating, is by texting & calling.
The person on the other line, talking/texting you,
may just be dishonest or whatever.
Cos you're not facing him/her in reality.
It's just through those minute radiowaves.
Who knows, he/she said he/she was at home, lazing around,
when actually he/she murdered someone
from your family at that point of time
and you didn't know about it,
cos you actually do not know if he/she is telling the truth.

Lol.

I'm being an annoying bitch.
Yeah, cos I'm irritated by the fact that people sometimes like to
make others wait and wonder.
I may not be so direct right now, but it's kinda obvious.

OH STFU IGNORE THIS POST, REALLY.

Bleagh.
Fuck NCC. (You, yes you. The person who just read what I type. You might know me in reality or whatever but yes, fuck NCC.)
I'm only in the mood for it when I feel like it.
Never always.
Night.

Hasif.

Okay.
Since someone already bising
Say I never or not posting anymore(PAULINE!)

I shall
This post is for you oke.
Sheesh

Alot has been happening lately
I have finished my examinations and hope to achieve....
Relatively good marks
I'm getting my papers back tomorrow
And also
Tomorrow
It will be P.O.P(Passing Out Parade)
Geez
I have a feeling something bad might happen
And I think my beret sucks and looks like shit
Dang

On Saturday,
it was my 15th birthday
Fina-Fucking-lly la sia
So now we are all fifteen
WOHOOO
I got a cake
it was chocolate something2
And you know what graphics were printed at the top?
No
If you;re thinking a car or maybe my cyclone
No
You;re so damn fucking wrong
It was a picture of
3,6.....
8 carebears!!
Yes the colourful cartoon bears
That is what i got
Cool eh
And the family collectively gave me my baby
Cyclone la
For those of you who do not know what my cyclone is
It;s my rc car
(It drifts... =D )

Then on that very day
Baby's c-hubs broke
And the servo died
Awesome eh
Lucky got spares

On Sunday
it was mum;s day
No I did not forget like the other two
Sheesh
The family went to Swensens in the morning for breakfast
BREAKFAST!
or was it brunch
hmmmm
I think it;s brunch
Then lepaked with lover boy(Hasif)
I call him that coz he's the only one with a girlfriend
Dang
Then went to watch a movie
The siblings and I watched
"What happens in Vegas"
It was cool
Starred Ashton Kutcher and Cameron Diaz
Then went to eat at Simpang
the end on Sunday

On Monday
Rotted at home
Seriously
The whole damn day
End of Monday

Tuesday
Went to school
For NCC
Prepared for POP
Then lepaked
Then went home
Then played computer
Then
TADAAAA
I'm here!!
WOHOOO

Okay.
That's it for now.
I know long ah
But I think
It's important I do this
Oke

Dzul
(PS: Pauline,you better read this. It's for you)

Flunked A & E Maths, as expected.
And wonderfully, got C5 for D&T, while most of them failed.
Fucking Malay Lang, I could've scored well if not for my out-of-point essay.
Totally wasted.
I hope my CA1 marks are able to pull em up.
Anyway, I'm rather pleased at Comb. Sci & Eng.
B for both.
B4 & B3 respectively.
Hmmm.
I'm just left with Comb. Humanities, which is an obvious E8.
Yes. You read right.
Sigh, I'm really determined to change after this.
I can't believe I've let myself down for like, gahhhh.
I really really want to at least achieve Bs for both my Math.
And at pass Humans, duh.
Fuck. -dies

Hasif.

I sound like Santa.
Anywho, today's a great day.
Courtesy of Anisa♥. (Ily beb)
And also, due to the series of events that occurred throughout the weekened and today.
I got A2 for my chem.
Which is like, really unexpected, cos for the last few tests I've been getting a low mark.
Hmmm.
B3 for english.
WOOHOO!
Ahem, wonders of having a girlfriend who has a great command of English. (HAHA, don't get all ego oit.)

http://www.boreme.com/boreme/funny-2007/comedy-football-p1.php <-- Random link.
This will make your day, trust me. :D

Anyway, back on track.

Sunday
It's Mother's Day and I almost forgot about it.
...
NEWS FLASH:
I'M SEEING HUN TOMORROW THE FIRST THING IN THE MORNAENG!
:DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

Okay, back on TOPIC AGAIN.
Sigh, yeah, kinda didn't wish Mom yesterday, cos I kinda screwed up on Saturday.
Okay, anyway, Survival Sunday.
Yeah, fucking boring Sunday.
Was alone at home, so I decided to go over to Granny's.
Well, good move anyway, met up with Nadir and Ahmad before that.
Anisa's Mom is like, superdy duper.
"You'd better do WELL in your O Levels AH. .... FIVE MINUTES MORE, PUT DOWN."
Yeah, that was what she said in the background.
O levels. Hmmm, is that a hint or what?
I'm just fifteen. O levels are like, lightyears away?
Anyway, I love you Mdm Maria, or Anisa's Mom.
Wahoooo.
She likes me.
:o
Life's great, BUT, sometimes, things get it in the way.
Like, her AUNT. -deep deep deep sigh.
I shall NOT elaborate on it any further.
It's just really, shocking, news, that, I, cannot, accept.

Oh by the way, Man Utd won the EPL TITLE FOR THE 17th TIME.
YESSAHHHH.
DAMN YOU CHELSEA, THANK GOD BOLTON SCORED AN EQUALISER
AT THE LAST FINAL MINUTE.
HAHAHAHAHA.

Monday
I dread Mondays, but, it's only THIS particular Monday.
Why?
Because we're getting back our papers.
Yes, our MYE papers.
That, I wasn't looking forward to at all.
Still, like I said at the start of the post,
kinda unexpected.
There's still E&A Math, MT, S.S, Physics and D&T to come.

Best part of today is that, oh wait.
I can't really figure out whether it's supposed to be best/worst.
I freaking "met" her brother OUTSIDE her place.
How cool.
"Gi mane?"
"Anter dier balek,"
"Oh okay,"
Ahahahaaaa.
No, actually not THAT's cool. Because I was fucking scared already?
Damn, he was wearing shades
and hun said he was looking up and down at me.
Meh, am I what? Your junior? (no pun intended)
Mhmmm.
Well, at least I've seen him once,
and shall never let history repeat itself again.
Heh.
Okay, since I might doze off any minute from now,
I'll just continue this post tmrw aye?

Nightttttt,

Hasif,

ouhh i cant view ivoryline.blogspot.com aka this blog dumbo.
and i only got throught from a link from Hanis and Ziyah's blog.
gee talk about lucky.


yesterday i went to RJ's Drama production.a fucken cool plot.even hasif agrees. XD
today i lost something important.
my ezlink also went crazy.AGN.fuck smrt.i dont give a damn.put me to jail.hahaha
i also nearly forgot about mum day.so ignorant.stupid fag

i dreamt of her the night after i dreamt or her.
were sms-in each other abou meeting.OUH Y DINT I DREAM OF MEETING?
NOW.WHO WOKE ME UP???lols actually i woke up.by myself.gee y?


i really miss her though.like a hell lot.

haha nvm that.

life's been as good as it can get.especially given the circumstances.
cant ask for more.im more than grateful myself.

Ahmad
ps.Dzul get ready for my bash.15 punches.

Hmmmm.
This mid year months are fucked up.

• May

Sun | Mon | Tues | Wed | Thurs | Fri | Sat
1 2 3
4 5 6 7 8 9 10
11 12 13 14 15 16 17
18 19 20 21 22 23 24
25 26 27 28 29 30 31

• June

Sun | Mon | Tues | Wed | Thurs | Fri | Sat
1 2 3 4 5 6 7
8 9 10 11 12* 13 14
15 16 17 18 19 20 21
22 23 24 25 26 27 28
29 30

*9-12 June not confirmed.
Those in Red pertaining to Spec Course. (shocking, aye?)
Blue - Kayaking.
By the way, I heard that there might be more to come
in between the trainings.
And also OBS coming the end of June.

This is what happens when you're a Part C.
I know Anisa's one is worse, since her Natl's are coming,
but this is my worse to date.
And I predict, some will be cancelled and postponed and etc.
My fucking June Hols are burned.
July will be no better.
So will August be, since we've already been promoted by then.
le sigh. (nice phrase yo)
Total up everything, I've only 2 weeks of free time. Or more?
Idk, Idc.
The problem's that, I'm afraid that my schedule will clash with my peeps'.
And we then don't have time.
And hers too. (though at least I'm free on the 6th)
Diediediediediediediediediediediedie.

Hasif.

Supposedly to be posted yesterday, but....

"It's not a laughing matter, Anisa,
hang up now."
-click! went the phone.

Those were the last few words I heard from her mom in the background.
Hahaaaa. Heck I was actually dozing off INFRONT OF MY COMP SCREEN.
YES. DOZING OFF. See, I even dozed off a moment while typing this.
I guess I'm pretty tired. That's all.
That sums it up too I guess?
OMFG I DOZED OFF AGAIN WHILE TYPING =.=
This really pissong mood offire. <--(I typed this while half awake, honest.)
Idk what it means, but.
My eyes are giving up on me.
And I'm in dire need of sleep.
Litreally. Tell me, since when is 3 odd hours even sufficient for someone's sleep?
No. Cos it's too short.
And I guess paid the heavy price during training."

... then I fell asleep.

Hmmm.

Hasif.

HELLO WORLD.
I am currently deprived of sleep.
In a few minutes time, I will be off for Kayaking training!
:D
Joy to the world. (so not)

*yawns*

Okay, so today'll be a very very very very fun day.
Hahahaha. I'm a joke.
I can't bloody believe I actually woke up at fucking 645am for Subuh.
And now it's 755am.

*yawns*

Seven fifty-five. In the morning.
Sat-ur-day morning.
Who in the freakin' world(exaggeration) wakes up at 645am on
a Saturday(kinda like a holiday) like this?
This ain't happening, it ain't.

*yawns*

Oh come on, I slept at like, whut?
3am+?
Hmmm. 3 hours of sleep.
That's cool. (was on the phone with hun anyway)
Cool kepale bapak kau cool.
I'm not SUPPOSED TO GO FOR THIS
@&#(*&#&%Y@)#&^@%&)%^
KAYAKING TRAINING.
GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH.

*yawns*

Bye.

Hasif.

Yeah.
I don't really know how to spelll out a scream, but there you go.
Check out this band :
A Romance Thesis.
Worth a listen.
Try it, and you'll know.

Moving on to my day, which sadly turned out to be
the worst in my week.
It first started off with my trip to Chinatown.
Very very redundant.
Fuck it.
Why do the D&T department come up with all these stupid trips?
Not to mention the teacher in charge.
Yes, you. Fuck you teachers man.
Isn't there anyone else to bother other than me?
Got back straight after that, which was around 1pm?
Wanted to post, but as per norm, too lazy.
And the best(sarcasm) part is that, there's freaking Kayaking training tomorrow.
I feel reluctant. Very, fucking, reluctant. Believe me, I do.
NCC is nothing to me now. (sorry Mad)
Cos I seriously think there's no point giving a damn
about it when no one's actually gonna praise/
take notice if you do anything right.
Honest. Nadirawr is currently uber pissed at me.
I can list down the reasons why, but not now.
She's not the only one. There's Seah.
And if anyone who knows them is reading this,
I wish luck to myself.
You'd ask me why wouldn't I go for Kayaking, eh?
Simple. The reason's that, I wasn't present for
the fall-in yesterday, which Nadirawr gave out
forms for May/June activities.
Naz & Taha told me about tomorrow.
So I don't officially know about that,
and I can reason to her about not
having the form. Who cares, eh?
Stupid, stupid, long, irrelevant post.
Sigh, why bother reading?


Hasif.

"I know I've been giving in too much.
I know how you felt when I said that.
I know, now, why am I fated to be with you.
& I promise you that, yes,
you'll be the one,
safe in my heart." -

I know I'm not allowed to swear(sorry hun), but, I had to.

To Ahmad:
Eh beb, really sorry. I had to switch off the vibration on my phone.
So I didn't feel a shit when you called or texted.
Really sorry beb.
Hope you get well soon.
I owe you one.

Today didn't went that well, except for certain parts.
Mainly because I didn't had school today, so yeah.
I hate it when there's nothing to do at home,
when you actually do not have school.
It's a sucky feeling.
Before holidays begin, you'll always think that you'll have time for lots of things,
but when the time comes,
you'll literally rot at home.
Mark my words.
I swear that when June arrives,
I'd either be producing noise off my amplifier
or... sigh.

I really really really really really really really really
want to kick this fucking stupid bloody hell habit,
but it's not working.
It's, it's, really a disgusting habit.
And it kills.
And that means I'm dying. (okay by now you'd know what I mean)
I don't wanna talk about it anymore.

Dad's being a nuisance as per norm.

Hasif.
P.S. Anisa, you're the bestest thing that's ever happened to me.
I know I keep mentioning it, but I so had to say it again.

prev post was screwed up.
but next post UP.
since ive been listenin and i just found out the real story behind this song, i shall write the lyrics.im just touched.

Verse1
Bertahun sudah ku menunggu dirimu,
akhirnya kau menjadi milikku.
sukarnya untuk ku melupakanmu,
kerna kau ku cintai selalu.

Prechorus
Tapi sayang,
kehadiran kekasih lama mu.
Datang kembali mengenang cinta dahulu.

Chorus
Mengapa ini semua harus berlaku?
apakah ini semua kerna diriku?
sedangkan aku,
cuma watak dalam percintaan.
tak sanggup aku melepaskanmu.

Prechorus2
Kau ibarat,
terperangkap di tengah lautan.
Tak tahu mana arah untuk kau menuju.

Guitarplay

Prechorus2

Chorus

Andai kau pinta untuk ku lepaskanmu,
terpaksa aku turutkan.
Mungkinkah ini suatu pengajaran,
di dalam percintaan.

you know last night.
amidst the fucking-irritating-idioticaly-hot body temperature,
i dreamt of someone i havent dreamt of in quite some time.
and yea its a wonder how you can feel so greatly even in your dreams

dreamt i met her outside the mosque in Pasir ris(??? yes i know too)
then we jay crossed.it was raining and if you live near the mosque, you'll know that the road is full of speeding cars. so i was like "hi" and gave a smile.n she gave that usual enthusiastic smile that never failed to make my days for months.
and while crossing, i just held her hand.and...it was like..i dont know..something in a looon looong time.
then when we reached the void deck opposite the mosque, i asked her if she had to go...
well, she gave the frown and said "yeaa, sorry" gee.evrything was like so real.like everything that i have seen before.(n gosh it feels like its been ages i swear)and stupidly, i dont know how or what i was thinking, i said "ok.what bus you taking?" she answered me and we went separate ways.like i dint even accompany her home or to the bustop.(well i wud in real life

today i didnt got to school.
again.
well, was sick yesterday.not the i-lazy-wna-go-school sick but really sick.
fever wit 38.7
but yeaa slept it off i guess. and didnt wna get an 'aftershock' so stayed at home.
rented underworld evolution and also AVPrequiem

gee no one knows how hot kate beckinsale is.
i mean daaaaamn...
she can be my vampire and suck my blood anytyme ah. XD (ouhh its not that i havent watched underworld, its just tt i JUST realised) <<(also because in evolution theres an 'extra' exciting scene.)joooking.
but yeea man she's hot. and in that costume?wth.yes wth.

and im just wondering what hit the flower.
it always tickles my mind.
makes it go wild.
crazy delusions.
gone.

Hold it up,
by my head.
Maybe at the heart instead.
Press the trigger,
dont be afraid.
Press it till you see me dead.

so thats emo elmo fr d dae

ahmad

AHAAAAAAAA
Fuck you
And fuck you

FUCKYOU
I WATCHED IRONMAN ON ITS OPENING DAY
BEAT THAT!!!!

IF YOU SEMMMMEEEEEEELLLLLLLLL!!!!!
WHAT THE ROCK!!!!
IS COOKING!!!!!!!

HAAAAAAA.
AND FOR THE OTHER GUY

FUCKYOU
FOR NOT HAVING WATCHED IT ALREADY

I need to get a motor heatsink
Then new rims
With HPI T-drifts
And then
Get toolbox
Then get tools
In need of reamer
SERIOUSLY

The Rock

Ah fuck
Who am I kidding

Dzulridhwan bin Kamaludin

FUCK YOU MAD.
(for posting 'bout IronMan.)
FUCK YOU MAD.
I WANT TO WATCH IT RIGHT.
FUCK YOU.

ape ajek hasif...
made us stronger.-.-
mcm PAHAM BOD KO.
and dun ask whre i went last nyte(referrin to prev post)
u were the one hu said no _______ no lpak.
but last nyte was dope ahh.hahaha
nvm that.

actually theres nth else ehh....NOOOO

there's ironman.
caught it yesterday.was fcuking dope.
the suit, the visuals, the cars(ouhh d audi), the fire power....ouhh just fucking HOT,.
like powow hot .
but the hero n heroine were just fine...
but sweet too yea.
cool ahh actually.worth my cash.coz it was also 2 hours.
was cool really
n theres an afterscene, i think next is avengers.but that kinda broke my heart alil.
i was expecting war machine FERST.
but well, avengers can NEVER be bad right?
thres batman cmin up.but i was never a fan.DC...hmmm i wudnt mind gayflash.or...green lantern.even wonder woman sux. they shud make another street fighter.or mortal kombat.dope much.
yeaa.
but yesterday they dint use the song in the cartoon(ye i rmmbr coz ironman was my childhood hero too) tt goes like "IROONMAAN"

aites then.now gta go for tuition.eat first.
eh i miss miss chupachups
XD

ahmad

dzul u bitch ass blalala.
uve got the 'yeeeeee' sounding drifting car and the long antannae(sp?) with the wheel remote control.
and hasif's got his (hasif, add ure descriptions here) Anisa.
abehh aku?well, id love to say i have her. in fact i wish i cud.
but im nt gna sae it.coz things, beneath the simplicity, is alil complicated.i mean heck i dont care too much.i love her. its literal.those things that's on the surface that makes it official. thats the twisty witsy part. but i dont really mind. i mean.yea we still talk to each other like it .is. official. but yeaa i mean the official stuffs are the things that make you think and sae things like "im hers and she's my gerl"...n if its not official, people just cant say it...it seems...like, perasaan.or...just...idk...anw,tdae i gt home, used the internet then it got screwed.i tried n tried n tried n tried( count how many 'tried' i typed and times that by ten?thats the number of times i really tried>>its called exagerration)but it took a loooong tyme.so much so that wen i got online, she had to go offline.i dont know.maybe shes fedup. but im sorry.comp's a (l/f)ag and i aint got no cash to go get anthr one.or gettit fixed. hope ya understnd.

well today was just fine...
first day at Muhammadiyah Welfare Home and i got 'sound'.wtf.
was standing there listenin to one of the officers describing during the 'tour' and a guy said
"cikgu, yang baju hitam bole bawak solo"
which, directly translated, means
"teacher, the guy in the black shirt can bring solo"
maybe not so direct.coz if it is it wud be
teacher, the black shirt can bring solo
but.my inferred version wud be
teacher, the guy in black i can take on one on one.
n its not blind, clueless, blind, clueless, anihow-say kinda inference.
i mean i know how they tok and wat they mean
dusnt mean im in a guai school i dont understand u dumbasses(and i dont mean the kids at MWH but i mean those outside there who just cant get enough of RI boys)
go fuck some other school fags.like the real fags.i mean the heavily populated(my sch may have fags but its not heavily populated.) fag mat-wannabe-but-never-wna-mengaku-coz-kerek-and-look-down-on-mats-but-theyre-no-diff school like some school in bedok. hoohoohoo.big clue aye.

n OMG tmr, ppl will come search for me.then, they will beat me up, then, found out the people who beat me arent from the school i mentioned but they were hired by the whoever in the school i mentioned.hahaha
bear ooooooooo scary.

ehh u know why ive been talking shit like there's no tomorrow or like tomorrow, all the toilet bowls wud be non-existent?
coz i tink im sleepy.n i wna go sleeep. like yeaa die.
die=sleep.now u geddit?coz u close eyes.den wish u die in ure sleep.coz it lks peaceful.(psst, no one knows if it is.coz those who have experienced it have died)
anw, im off to go meet my sweetheart the bed.now.and the pillows.and the sheets.fuyyohh....n ill go dream of racing.orrr....my dream.orrr...sth else :P just joking.we want everything to stay dry.

anw, ...................(this time, i wont say anth more)

bye byee

ahmad

BOO.
Shit.
No time to post.
Tmrw yaw.

Haisf.

WOOOOHOOOOOOO
After so long of not using the comp.
Im back

The v alphabet on thekeyboard like fuck abit uh but heck
I got my rc drifter already.
And in love with it.
Fuckuh
Sith got anisa I got my own toy.
WOHOOOOOO
Lifes been fucky,
dont ask why
whatever it is im back

Dzulridhwan bin Kamaludin